Bill Nye the Failure Guy

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Bill Nye the Fraudulent Science Guy, recently commented to Salon’s Jeremy Binckes that he is “a failure.” He lamented the fact that despite his best efforts to convince America that a lie is the truth, (ie that we humans have radically changed the climate of the Earth by driving our cars to the grocery store) nobody seems to believe him or think that the problem is so serious that we should destroy our entire economy and way of life.

Poor little guy. He and his fellow left-wing Church of the Environment religious zealots have everything in place that they needed to brainwash the American People. They begin the religious indoctrination as soon as children hit the public schools at the tender age of five, or earlier. The propaganda is pushed as settled fact until the little drones leave their college safe spaces and enter the world of the normal people. It is reinforced along the way in news media and nearly every aspect of popular culture. Yet still, Bill Nye has failed. Why? Because he is pushing a hysterical lie, or at the very least a gross exaggeration. People are not as stupid as Bill Nye needs them to be. Adults can see that the oceans are at the exact same levels as when they were children. It still snows in the winter. There has been no “mass extinction.” All the animals they used to hit with their cars 20 years ago are still running in front of them on the way home from picking up their sons from the Boy Scouts… er… I mean “The Scouts.” They have been hearing the outrageous claims of the fraudsters like Bill Nye for decades, only to see each and every claim debunked by the passage of time and their own eyes.

Bill Nye has been fighting a battle he could not win. He is pushing a theory that is predicated entirely on predictions of future environmental catastrophes, and therein lies the problem. In order to scare people sufficiently that they will be agreeable to draconian policy prescriptions, the Bill Nyes of the world must offer dire predictions of an environmentally-devastated world. But in concocting their baseless predictions, they must decide how far-off into the future these calamities will befall us. Too far into the future, and no one will be scared enough to act. Too soon, and people will stop believing these charlatans as they witness for themselves each prediction proven false in their lifetimes. The only real choice of the Phony Science Guys was to make predictions of disasters that would strike, or at least noticeably begin, within a few decades… and hope. Hope that some of them would come true. And that is what they did. They have been making predictions and hoping. Predictions of future events which should already have come to pass, or for which we should all have seen clear evidence by now. Sadly, for the Phony Science Guys, none of their predictions have materialized. Their outrageous claims are not true. They have never been true. And people don’t need to be told that they are not true, they can see it for themselves.

It is time for Bill Nye to close up shop. He has now admitted his failure. He should for once demonstrate some integrity and abandon his crusade altogether. There are plenty of other battles he can fight. There are many other subjects about which he can pretend to be an expert. He can pretend to be a medical expert. “Bill Nye the Medical Guy.”  He can warn us about the dangers of concussions in football and try to put the NFL out of business. Now there’s an idea! Hell, I’ll even cheer him on!

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